Convincing Me Pt. 12
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Hey Guys. I am not sure if anyone really cares about this series anymore. However, the reasons for which I stopped writing was wrong and I thought it only fair that I do finish it. I got scared off by a few criticisms, all of which raised valid points, btw. So I am taking a chance with this story and I am rewriting “Convincing Me Pt. 12”, meaning this story is a follow-up to Pt. 11. I am really sorry to anyone who got frustrated that new chapters were not added for so long and also to those who were dissatisfied with the last chapter. Hopefully, this revival will erase any anger 🙂 Thank you.
Many likes to call me passionate, but if you mess with me, I am baddest bitch you will ever meet. I gave Sophie the death glare that came so naturally to me, and the hour-glass whore got so scared that she was frozen with her mouth open and a fork-full of scrambled eggs mid-air. I felt the love of my life looking at me before I actually saw her face.
Suddenly all the chatter stopped, and mom and dad looked at me guiltily. I should have known.. Of course they would choose their daughter over me.. Calling them mom and dad for so long had made me forget that I am not actually their daughter.
“I am sorry.. T.. I mean Tamara.. I didn’t know you would be here,” Mandy said.
“Don’t be.. This is your house. I am clearly the one who needs to leave. Mom, dad thank you for letting me stay the night,” I said.
“Do not take a step towards that door young lady. We need to sort this out today,” mom said.
“Yes, I can’t watch my two girls fighting like this,” added Dad.
“She should have thought of that before hooking up with Ms. I’ll-Open-My-Legs-For-Anyone.
“Do not insult her, T, This is between you and me.”
“There is nothing between you and me, Mandy. You killed that when you cheated on me with her. Who even knows who else you slept with? Probably tons more women… Did you even care about me? Or did you just want to use me while we were stuck in this dumb little town?” I already regretted the words that were spilling out of my mouth. But there was no stopping now. “You are worse than my dad, because he at least didn’t fool me with fake love”.
I could see Mandy’s eyes filling with tears, but she still let me pile insults on her. I wanted her to respond, I wanted us to fight and shout and break things and hit each other. I was so mad.
“What are you offering, huh? How have you been keeping her hooked on that pussy of yours, huh?”
“I told you to stop talking to her, Tamara. I am serious. Stop insulting her. She had nothing to do with this”.
“But it’s not her that dragged me into this mess, was it? It was you,” the whore spoke up.
“Shut up, Sophie-“
“Why? So none knows your silly little plans?”
“Stop it. You are a guest in my house. You have no place –“
“Mandy!!” mom gasped at Mandy’s out-of-character behavior.
“You know what? I have no place here either. I am sorry mom. You will always have to choose your daughter and I have not right to expect otherwise and unfortunately I cannot stand her. I hope you will forgive me,” I said and left despite mom and dad’s voices telling me to stay.
I ran out as tears threatened to escape my eyes, but I purposefully walked ahead. Flashback on every day since out break-up passed me by. I released that the woman I thought could never hurt me, hurt me more than anyone else ever has. I cursed her and yearned for her at the same time. I think I still held on the belief that she would come back, apologise and that after making her work a little bit for it, I would forgive her.
I laughed at how pathetic I am. The woman had me wrapped around her pinky, while she went and played with other girls. Even now, I think I would forgive her if she only told me she was sorry and that her love was only mine, even if she shared her body with other people. I tried to rationalize that love is what mattered, not sex.
But it does not even look like she wants my love. She has stupid Sophie’s love! I hated this feeling of helplessness. I felt this when I was young and every time I looked for clues to find my mom Maria would reprimand me. Since then I had decided that I would go after what I wanted and not be the damsel in distress, ever. And, here I am feeling like a heartbroken princess in a fairytale.
I don’t remember how long I walked for, but I reached my gigantic home that did not evoke half the emotions that Mandy’s home did. I must have looked like a mess, because one of the maids gasped and ran to the TV room where I am sure Maria was waiting for an update about me.
Halfway up the casino şirketleri stairs to my room I head, “Stop right there, Tammy.” I walked on. “You will obey me, young lady. I raised you.” Despite knowing better, I stopped.
“Why are you behaving like this? Stop victimizing yourself. What has happened? You broke up with Mandy. So what? You have broken up with other people. I told you she wasn’t right for you. Why don’t you call Matty (You guys may know him as Jock) and do something fun?” Maria said.
“I am not sure if he will be free, Maria, considering he is in a new relationship and from what I hear he spending most of his time banging that boyfriend of his,” I spat and turned around for just a second to see the colour drain out of Maria’s face.
I do not remember entering my room, locking the door or crying myself to sleep, but I did wake up to loud voices from the ground floor. I did not care about anyone or anything else.. all I wanted to do was burry myself under the blankets and hibernate till I felt better. However, the voice of the woman who used to scream my name in ecstasy, was shouting my name and I had to see what it was about.
Mandy was trying to pry out of the grips of Maria and three other maids, while her whorebag of a girlfriend was looking shocked. Our eyes locked and she shouted, “Tamara”.
“What are you doing here? You have hurt me enough. Let me be,” I pleaded with her.
“I just need to talk for five minutes and I will leave. I promise,” she said.
I paused for a few seconds, and despite every logical part of my brain screaming danger alert, I said, “Maria let her go.. NOW!”
Since her new girlfriend would clearly be joining us and I would never allow her to enter the sacred space where Mandy and I kissed for the first time, I took them to the patio. “What do you want now, Mandy?”
“I wanted to apologize-“
“I am the one that should apologize. I let my emotions get the better of me.. As you say, I am too ‘passionate’ for my own good,” I chuckled humorlessly. “I should not have made such a huge scene at yourplace..and I shouldn’t have called you a whore or a bitch… that was uncalled for,” I said to Sophie.
“You didn’t call me a bitch” she corrected me.
“Oh.. well I thought it. Regardless, I am sorry.”
“Mandy.. we are not a couple,” Mandy blurted.
“Yes… You made it abundantly clear. I got it,” I retorted. Why is she rubbing it in? Did I not apologize?
“No T.. Me and Sophie… We are not a couple. I lied to you”.
I could not trust my ears. TO my embarrassment I started tearing up again, and I stood up.
“Why are you doing this? All I did was love you. Please just leave me alone. I will not disrupt your life again. Please… just leave,” I told her.
Mandy got up, placed her hands on my shoulders and gently sat me down. “Please listen to me, sweetheart. I am only in love with you and will only ever be in love with you. I am not sleeping with Sophie or dating her. Ask her.”
“It’s true. I kissed her because I was having these conflicting feelings.. sexual feelings.. and I just wanted to explore. But she tried to push me away.. and that is when you walked in. She later explained to me that you are her soul-mate and that I shouldn’t have kissed her. I am so sorry that is what started it all,” Sophie explained calmly.
I felt like I was punched in the face. What does this mean? Did I almost kill myself with sorrow for nothing? But what about the things Mandy said? That I was holding her back? And that she wanted to be with other people?
“That is not what started all this though.. You told me you wanted to see other people.. and that I was holding you back. You broke my heart. You are telling that was all a lie too?” I asked Mandy.
“I am sorry.. truly. I thought I was doing you a favour… I thought I was doing what was best for you.”
Now I was truly lost. “You thought you were helping me by breaking up with me? When you knew how much I loved you? You must be completely insane”.
“No.. The week that we didn’t speak nearly killed me. I was keeping tabs on you to see if you were alright. I knew you didn’t have many friends in college.. And I wanted to know you were okay.. But you were more than okay. You shined bright without my absence.. You became the successful student that I always knew you had the potential to be. When you were not helping me to become my best self and making my life easier, you finally shined like the true star that you are.”
I gawked at her. What the fuck was she saying?
“You were not the one holding me back… I was the one holding you back. And at least subconsciously I knew casino firmaları this..but let it continue because I was getting everything I wanted. A wonderful girlfriend who centered her entire life on me. I wanted to do something selfless.. something to make you.. happy.”
I was quiet for a couple of seconds and then I asked her softly, “You think I was happy? You think I became my best self because you broke up with me? Stop giving yourself so much importance. You had no right to dictate how my life should be. You killed my love.. Do you understand me? You killed my love for you”. By the time I finished talking, I was yelling, and Mandy looked like life had been sucked out of her.
“I thought I could forgive you if you apologized to me for cheating.. I cannot forgive this. You tried to take control of my life without my consent. Fuck you, Mandy. You think I am less than you, because I don’t fare as well you do in school? Seriously, fuck you”.
“No.. no.. I did not say that.. You are amazing whether or not you score great grades.. But you have the potential to do well. And it looked I was the one that was stopping you from it. As soon as I took myself out of the equation you starting ranking well in classes.”
“That is because I was dying inside and I wanted to distract myself. You think I was happy about it? You did the same thing everyone else has been doing to me.. trying to control my life. How can I forgive you?”
“I will do anything to earn it back. Tell me what?”
“So now you don’t care if I go back to barely passing my papers? What happened to the magnanimity?”
“I have learned I was wrong. It was not my place to decide what is best for you. I am sorry. I truly am. I will try to convince you of this until you forgive me.”
“I want to be alone, Mandy. Please leave.”
It looked like Mandy wanted to say something… But she respected my wishes and left. Sophie mouthed “Sorry” before following her. Once they were out of vicinity, I threw the table-spread to the ground and screamed before running back to my room.
I was seeing red and a kind of anger that only comes when you equally love the person that anger is directed at. I was angry that she thought she knew better than me about me. I was angry that she made a choice for me that I did not know about. I was angry that she had audacity to break my heart and think of herself as a selfless martyr. I was angry that I cried for six months over the same woman, now I am sure cried for me too. But most of all I was angry that instead of trying to wiggle her way back in, she decided to be noble and leave like asked her to.
I kept throwing things at the wall, but the crackling glass only served to fuel my anger. At some point I stopped and started crying again. Maria was beating at the door, but I told her to leave me alone.
“I need to know if you are okay baby,” she replied.
I let her in.
“Why do you love her so much? You are a woman. You need to be with a man. Why cant you love a good man.. like..”
“Matt? Is that who I should be with, Maria?” I asked her.
“If not him, then someone better. You can have anyone you want,” Maria replied.
“And I want Mandy. I love her Maria. Why is this so hard for you to understand? I love her… Despite everything else”.
“I thought you were done with her.”
“Despite my anger I love her. I was trying to think what I am most mad about and I realized that I am furious with her because she robbed me of six months that I could have lived happily with her,” I said.
I lied down on my bed and closed my eyes. I heard Maria cleaning up the mess I had made and quietly leaving the room. I cried sleeping once more in the same day and woke up famished and I knew that Maria must have left me some snacks by the bed.
As I was feeling for food on my nightstand, I felt a palm. I jumped up to see Mandy looking at me sadly.
“What are you doing here?”
“I am here to apologise.. Again. Not just everything that happened. But also for not being able to obey your instruction and stay away. I love you… I don’t know how I lived without you.. I cannot do it again.. I love you more than I have loved anyone in my life. I didn’t, with all the conviction in the world, believe that what I did was best for you, I wouldn’t have. Not being with you was more of a torture on me that you will know…. Please say some-“
I didn’t let her finish saying something, I kissed her for six months’ worth. We had never made out that roughly before that.. However, once we discovered make-up sex, biting and bleeding became a part of kissing.
“Does this mean güvenilir casino you forgive me?” Mandy asked sheepishly once I gave her a chance to breathe.
“Nope.” I said pushing her down onto my bed and climbing over her. “I need some answers first.
I bent down and licked her neck and inhaled her scent.. “Who let you in?”
“How’d you trick her into doing that?” I asked while my hand ran up and down her sides.
“I didn’t have to do anything. I came to the house….mmmmm.. she moved aside to let me in. I asked her.. mmmmm.. ‘that easy?’ and told me you loved me very much…aaahhh… and that if I ever hurt you again she will make sure I regret it. I told her not to worry” Mandy held my hands in place, lifted my head so she looked into my eyes, and said, “I love her more than life itself”.
Well, Maria’s acceptance was a welcome surprise, and it meant a lot to me. Despite me behaving like bitch to her lately, she is the closest person that I had to a mother while growing up.
I planted a wet kiss on her mouth.
“I have more questions..”
“Ask me anything,” she said.
I opened the first button to her shirt and let a finger slip as her breathing got heavier. My finger wandered in her cleavage not going too close to either of the mounds next to it.
“What made you come back?” I asked before gently tugging on one of her earlobes with my teeth and gently suckling on it.
“I asked you something,” I took her earlobe off my mouth to remind her.
“I always give you your space when you ask me for it.. mmm… but more that it being this gentlemanly thing that it appears to be, it is my ego getting in the way…ooh… oooh… I am putting my ego aside.. I didn’t care if I had to beg.. I wanted to win you back… aaa…mmm….I love you soo much”.
I opened a couple more buttons of her shirt and started fondling her breasts over the bra.
“Why did you bring Sophie home with you?” I whispered in her ear and licked down to her neck, where my mark no longer existed. I rubbed my nose against her skin.
“She is only a friend.. I promise.. She was alone at her dorm.. aaahh.. when I was leaving..mm.. and I told her she could tag along with me if she wanted.”
More buttons were opened and my hand trailed down the belly I loved so much and reach the hem of her jeans. I kept running my hands up and down her torso, gently pinching and pulling on the soft padding, and my tongue flicked her perky right nipple that was stretching the fabric of her bra.
“Why did you stop checking on me after we broke up? You would have seen how miserable I am,” I said and went back to massaging and biting her nipples over the bra.
I bit a little harder.
“aaah.. I wanted to stay as away from you as possible. I didn’t want to be tempted and beg you to take me back.. I knew you were doing well in your classes, because I checked your records..mm..mm… And I thought my plan worked.”
I unbuttoned her jeans, and my hand went in. I rubbed her clit over her soaked panties.
“Aaaah..mmm”, she was gyrating against my probing finger.
“After we broke up, did you try to date HER?” I asked and took a long lick of her belly, and suckled on her belly button.
She was grabbing handfuls of my bed-sheet, and it took all of her concentration to say, “I.. mm.. aa..Never. I wanted… no one… but you…Only want….to be yours.” She bit her lip 7 times to say it.. I counted.. 7 times. How could one person be so sexy?
I slipped her jeans off until her ankles and pulled her panty down. Before I put my face between her legs to take what is mine, I asked her, “Does she know you belong to me, and that she cannot use you to figure out her sexuality?”
“mmmmmmm…. Aaaaaah.. aaaaaah..”
I pinched her thighs.
“She does.. she does.. I am yours.. I am only yours,” she said in between gasps.
I eat her out until she squirted all over me.
I went higher and lightly rubbed her cheek with an open palm.
“Will you do anything so dumb ever again?”
She kissed my palm and said, “Never.. Never..”
“Good. Then I forgive you,” I smiled.
“Thank you,” she kissed me lightly and asked against my lips.. “Then will you please mark me again?,” she asked rubbing her skin where my mark used to be.
Without another word, leaned over and sucked on her skin until it turned purple, and then kissed it.
She pulled my face to her and we kissed for eternity.. Or was it five minutes? I do not remember now. I remember being very happy. But a fear was lit in me.. If Mandy hurts me again, I don’t know if I would survive it. I pushed the thought aside, and smiled at her and kissed her and licked her and let her kiss me and worship me with her tongue until I felt the pleasure I had not known in six months.
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