new-adventures-with-older-brother-34

Eylül 8, 2022 0 Yazar: admin

Ben Esra telefonda seni bosaltmami ister misin?
Telefon Numaram: 00237 8000 92 32

Amateur

Subject: New Adventures with Older Brother part 34 Disclaimer � This story is a work of fiction, and depicts incestual sexual action between teen boys. If you are uncomfortable with that, or live in a community where that material is forbidden, please stop reading. Don’t forget, Nifty is a great resource, so please fty/donate.html Well, here we are. The grand finale. I’ll keep this brief, but I’m glad I wrote this and the journey I made for myself and for y’all, my readers. You are all amazing people, and I’m glad you found something in my work, be it a nice jack off session or something nostalgic or sweet in your own experiences and memories. Please know I’ll always cherish your emails. No matter how many years down the line you read through this since I finished this, you’re always welcome to email me ail) and let me know what you think. As some of you know, music has been a major part of this work (Pop punk is just a major thing to invoke the feeling I wanted) theres a song I feel encapsulates this chapter, so please check it out when you’re done. “Sweetest Air” by This Time Next Year. Just captures the feeling so well. Besides that, the main playlist as I wrote that comprised of Fireworks, This Time Next Year, Handguns, New Found Glory, Blink 182, Seaway, Hit the Lights, etc. They were my big inspirations and motivations, so if you ever find yourself looking for something fun, they are all great bands. Chapter 34: Rise and Fall, It’s Curtain Call I stared out the window, watching as the dull overcast sky lazily flowed like a very… dirty river. Not exactly the proper decorum for an emotional reunion, but it also means it’s not as hot as Satan’s jock strap outside. The spit of winter in the sea of “holy fuck, where’s the AC?!” We were driving up to the northside of town to grab Ben from the airport. Harry driving, his free hand intertwined with Lee’s, both of them bobbing their heads along to some killer solo. They were so cute how much they shared their love of music, it made me vomit with a mix of genuine love for them and hatred for the saccharine cuteness. I just laid in the back seat, bored, trying to catch peeks of the sky between the piercing high rises and dull skyscrapers. Was I nervous again? A little bit, but not as much as when I flew to go see him. Honestly, the knowledge that he’ll be gone at the end just sort of makes the whole thing feel pointless, but I’ll still take the semblance of a relationship I can get. A facsimile of fire can still give warmth in a blizzard, can it? Sometimes I think to myself “Call it off, on your own terms. No fight, just… acceptance of the facts of the situation.” Maybe I can move on, rather than end up in the same situation I had with Lee. But that doesn’t seem like a good answer… Ben makes me happy. But he still could as my brother? Or would he regress back to how he was? But I do… intend to bring some of these fears up at some point. We need a goal here, living this nebulous relationship is just… getting to me as we spend it apart. This is how my mind has been for months, just cyclical arguments with myself and the dream, the nightmares, and the little bubbles of fantasy that float between them. It’s fucking exhausting, and I’ve made no ground. Like, what the fuck do I do? Every answer is a labyrinth of more bullshit, whilst I am being hunted by the Minotaur known as Self-Doubt. Which is a very poor name for a fantasy monster. Is there a cool Latin name for Regret? Making a choice… any choice, is better than none, right? Standing still in this relationship means neither Ben or myself can move anywhere… And isn’t that the worst punishment? Being stuck? “How many more exits is it?” Harry asked outloud, hoping Lee or I knew anything about this part of town. Lee looked around for a sign… “Uhh… Let’s see… Was it close to Bowie Ln.?” “No, I thought it had a super obvious name, like Airport Blvd. or something.” I chimed in, pretending I knew. Half listening to the news in the morning with mom might prove in handy… If it wasn’t filled with finding out the best place to get useless junk like Kitten Mittens. A few more signs crawled by, revealing additional useless information. “Well, we gotta be close…” “Oh hey, there it is, I… think?” Lee called out. “You think or you know?!” The short patience from the long drive is starting to take it’s toll. I’m sure we are one wrong exist or bad turn from just shouting till we’re hoarse. “Hold on hol- Yeah, that’s it, the sign says Airport that-a-way!” “Thank fuck!” We all sigh in relief. Just eager to get out of the fucking car. _ _ _ _ _ *Crinkle Crinkle Crinkle* Grrrr…. Fuck this bag of peanuts! Why! Won’t! It! Open! Bleh. Why am I so nervous? And taking out on this stupid bag of nuts. I mean, I don’t really like planes. Cramped and stuffed and just really awkward feeling. I really just want to fucking land and move my legs in some fucking way. Just… Homecomings are always anxiety bombs. Seeing Ma again, and knowing she’s gonna fuss for every single detail about my life. “How’s work? How’s your dad? Any special gal in your life?” Like fuck Ma, get off my back! Then there’s Army. I haven’t told him my plan yet. I told Ma a little over the phone so she could help me out, but I’m keeping this a big secret from my brother. I don’t want to raise his hopes up for something that might not work out, y’know? That’ll really crush him… Ma and I talked about it a little bit last week, and I think we got a solid plan: Using my work experience with trucks to find a job down here, hopefully with emergency vehicles because that would be a really solid way to start talking and meeting people, while going to a Firefighter training program at one of the colleges. Ma said which one offered it, but I don’t remember. That way, I can still work and support myself, and still benefit myself in some way. Ma sounded real proud when I told her my idea. I still don’t really know what clicked with it… Maybe it’s the idea I wanna do something that makes my family proud of me. I want to help people and I know I can be good at it. It may take a while, but once I get the ball rolling, I know I’ll be set. Plus I got Army… Deep down, I know he’s gonna help me study and learn, just like he did when we started this whole thing. He’s my motivation. He’s the one who makes me want to challenge and better myself, no matter what. And I’ll do it for him because he’s… he’s a special guy. He’s my dopey stupid baby brother, my smartass boyfriend, and my loyal and sweet best friend. Now I just gotta get out of this sardine can and move, because holy shit, I think my leg fell asleep. All 3 of them… Nope, nothing. Not even dumb jokes can cheer me up right now. Bleeeh! _ _ _ _ _ After a bit of driving around in a big dumb circle for a little bit, Ben finally calls to let us know he’s outside waving us down. We somehow fit his suitcase and bag in the trunk, despite all the garbage Harry has back there (How many bags of clothes does one guy need? He’s not donating them! Then why are they there!?) then we somehow all stuff ourselves into the car. Greetings between us were brief, thankfully… Some hugs (some more tight and bear-like than others) and some nice-to-meet-yous (Ben and Lee sized themselves up as they shook hands, it was… pretty sad), then bam, heading back home. Ben and I tried to keep cool and collected… we were with someone who still doesn’t know, so we were more subtle about us reconnecting… A lingering gaze, brief hand grabs, nothing serious. But the old primal urges flooded my system like some kind of biblical catastrophe. Even our fingers faintly touching between us as we ride along is killing me. Harry, Lee, and Ben start chatting about California, his work, and everything, eager to get the details on his life. Harry probably trying to suss out if Ben found someone, while Lee is just eager to learn more about his former competition. But I can tell by the look on his face he’d rather be quiet, crashed on a couch or something. Just anywhere but stuck in a car being interviewed by our friends. But… I felt calmed now. Just being able to touch him, feel him, know he’s right next to me, in the flesh and bone. Like a boat making it to port after weeks of storms, I can breathe. It’s temporary, sure, but a respite none the less. Ben kept his answers curt, the rolling of his eyes showing his true feelings on the matter. Can’t say I blame the guy. This can all wait till later. “What did y’all wanna do for dinner?” Lee interrupted one of Harry’s questions to get to the real thing on our minds. “BBQ? I doubt Ben’s had anything good in that lame-ass state.” I suggested, hoping to get a really good baked potato with some brisket on it… Mmmmm. “Nah, how about like enchiladas or fajitas or something?” Harry revealed his own hankering for tex-mex. Lee and I turned to look at Ben, but the only answer we got was some light snoring… Ben’s head had laid back in the seat, his mouth wide open… He had fallen asleep instead… Guess that flight wore him out more than we thought. Poor guy. “Raincheck on that dinner then?” Harry laughed. “Shame… I was hungry.” “I’m sure he ate a lot on the plane. They always give you so many nuts.” Oh innocent Lee… “Can never have too many nuts, Lee.” Harry and I snickered.. şişli travesti Felt nice to have the gang back together. Well, the new version of our gang. I just hope Lee and Ben get along. My ex and my current boyfriend? Sounds like a weird sitcom thing. But I’m glad we’re all together now. _ _ _ _ _ We finally made it home. Gawd I was fucking tired as shit, but eventually Harry and Army’s bickering snapped me back awake with a “Awww, baby enjoy his naptime?” Fuckers, I’m tired! No one ever heard of jet lag?! I hop out of the car and stretch, every single bone and tendon screaming for space. Ma’s car wasn’t around, sadly. Guess she’s at work. Bummer… But oh well, time will pass by super fast with these losers. “What do you wanna do first, Ben? Homesick boy comes first.” Army smiled at me. More ways than one, Army. Oh, more ways than one. Sadly, since the whole brigade is attending this little pow-wow, I gotta reel in ol’ Big Ben from getting too excited. I know he senses his favorite little fuck buddy, but gotta show a little… what would Army say. Decorum? Plowing his sweet little butt right here and now seems very anti-decorum, haha. Oh well, I can take one afternoon of being celibate… . . . . . Okay, one evening of being celibate is pushing it. Harry and Lee decided to stay over, too bored at their respective houses to wanna go back. Ughhhhhhh… Why do I gotta be punished for my brothers taste in friends?! Oh well, I guess, no use crying over not-spilt seed, right? Heh heh. Ma eventually popped in, and cried when she saw me. I don’t think she’s ever given me such a tight hug before. “I need to get some food in you soon, baby. You look thin as a rail!” Sure, Ma, I’ll take a whole buffet of your food at this point. She immediately set to work in the kitchen, cooking up something fun for all of us, but shooed us all out so she could concentrate. I heard Army mention lasagna, and my inner orange cat purred at the thought. That would be swell, right. Filling, tasty, and in such big portions. But… I felt relaxed for the first time in a long time. The sounds of people chatting, the smell of cooking, a house that felt warm and inviting. I really missed this a lot. . . . . . The four of us crowded in our tiny bedroom, the group hang out escalating into a sleepover. I’m sure Army and Harry are like one dumb comic book argument about which super hero has the better villains before resorting to a pillow fight. A very gay pillow fight, at that. Ma decided to let us have the house, taking the night off elsewhere. We didn’t really ask, and she didn’t really seem ready to tell us yet. But hey, we get to be as loud and obnoxious as we can get. Which for some of us (cough, Army, cough) is really easy. But despite having the whole damn house to ourselves though, we just shoved ourselves in this gawd damn tiny room. Maybe it was the… intimacy? Or like we are all still trying to hide something. Old habits die hard. So there we were, me and Lee sitting crosslegged on the ground since its the only place we really fit (you ever notice how fucking tiny your old bed is when you haven’t seen it in a long time, and actually slept in a real fucking adult bed?! ITS FUCKING TINY!) while the shortstacks lounged around on my bed, just… talking. No games, no TV, some light music on in the background but I couldn’t name who the band was or what the girl they were wailing about did to them. Just… us. It was really nice. Something I genuinely missed back in Cali, was the feel that I… belonged? Ugh, that just feels so clich�. Lee nudged my arm and nodded his head towards the door. I wasn’t really sure what this was a sign of, but usually when a bro gives you that nod this late into a hang out, that’s usually one on one talks. And I didn’t really know Lee very well yet, but I knew Army would want me to get close, so… might as well try. “We’ll be right back, okay?” Lee muttered as he stood up, his hands going into the pockets of his hoodie. “Aww, and leave us all alone? Whatever will we do?” Harry pouted. “Same shit y’all always do. Argue about dumb shit till one of you gets mad.” I smiled at the both of them. “Fine…” They both stammered, the “youngins” knowing their place… Ugh, I didn’t like that. Sounded like my old Coach. I followed Lee out into the hallway and down to the door leading to the back porch… stoop thing. It’s not very big, but oh well, I don’t know what to call it. He leaned back against the door while I took a seat on the banister, once again one eyeing the other down a little. Army told me a lot about Lee, so it feels like I should already know the guy, but… as he sits there, it’s a little weird. It’s my brothers ex. I remember how I reacted the firs t time Ma let it slip that Army was seeing someone. Like I’m forced to go on a roller coaster while being hung over. But… I don’t feel that way anymore. Am I supposed to? Like when your ex-girl and your current girl see each other and you think its gonna be a catfight and they start clawing and pulling eachothers hair and then their clothes get ripped and then there’s a pool of jell-o and- “You smoke?” Oh, right, I’m not alone. Lee broke my… dirty thought train and pulled out a joint, then patting his pockets to find his lighter while I moved towards him, a smile on my face. Its been a hot minute because of work, but I can relax for a bit, right? I watched him light it up and take a short puff of it before handing it my way, and I matched his rhythm. After a few passes and silence, Lee spoke up again, looking me right in the eye. “You know, I used to hate you.” Welp, this isn’t off to a good start. He chuckles to himself, and leans back against the door. “I always kept thinking, what the fuck don’t I have. Army is a really great guy, and I tried my best. But after meeting you and knowing everything, I just let go. There’s no point in fighting it, you know? Just… live and let live.” “Thanks man… Sorry, had I known Army was gonna put you in that whole shitshow, I would have told him to leave you be and not rope you in, y’know?” “Nah, I’m glad he did. I got to meet him, and Harry, and I guess you.” He shrugs, slowly blowing out a long cloud. “Sometimes people bump into eachother and are better for it. Not for soulmates or love or shit, but because we’re always looking for people who care about us. Deep down.” He’s right. I spent a long time alone before I moved here in the first place, and tried to fill that stupid little void with girls and sports and whatever bullshit I could get up to. Just trying to distance myself from… myself? Then Army saw me for who I was… No, that’s not right. We saw eachother for who we really were. And we found others too. Without him, I wouldn’t have this amazing little cabal of fags and potheads and losers. Lee rubs his face and laughs to himself. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring you out here to shoot deep shit. I just wanted a smoke, and since Harry is trying to cut back a little and Army sort of… barfed on everything last time… figured you’d enjoy it.” He passes it back to me. “Hey man, it’s fine. I enjoyed it. Sorry, I was just caught up in my mi…” Then what he said finally hit me. “Wait, he did what?” He gives me a crooked smile again, a funny-ass story on the tip of his tongue… _ _ _ _ _ “What do you think they are doing?” Harry asked aloud, relaxing back on the bed while his fingers played with his hair. “Knowing Lee, smoking. Knowing my brother, joining.” I sighed, very much not eager to join them. Even the smell of weed just makes me a little queasy. Like how it feels when eggs make you sick one time, then suddenly it’ll be decades before you touch them again. “Dang, was hoping they were plotting on how to get us all 4 to fuck together.” He joked, but I could sense the tinge of disappointment. Guess my eyes went into super side eye for a second, because Harry grinned back at me and winked. “What does that mean?” “Oh… nothing.” Ugh, don’t play coy now you little bitch. Did he know? He’s never said anything in a long time about it. Or maybe there’s just nothing to talk about. Like when you know a secret and waiting for the other guy to get with the program? But he was also there when we first started talking again, even if he was a little drunk. Maybe he’s not as blind as we gave him credit for? Plus Lee might have accidentally let on more. Meh, part of me just doesn’t care anymore. If Lee knows, then I can trust Harry. “You know, don’t you?” And like that, I watched him get the biggest grin. “You just confirmed it for me.” Damn it, Armando, played right into his hands. “Fuck. When did you find out? Did Lee sa-” I started, not really upset but still kind of paranoid. “Nah, I just guessed what was really going on a little after he left to California, and you were all bitter and mad. Like, I got it, but maybe it was that plus you and Lee’s false start… and a little deduction when Ben and I got drunk at his place.” “You’re not as dumb as we took you for.” “Hey!” Harry pushed me and smiled, “I actually kind of felt like I knew for a long long time, but it didn’t really matter. Either I knew and was right, which meant I couldn’t talk about it, or I was wrong, and then I wrote this entire porn scenario in my head and you’d make fun of me.” “You’re not wrong.” beylikdüzü travesti I shrug. “It’s fine. I know what it is, and who am I to judge. Though I sort of bummed that I missed out on SOOOOO many dirty stories.” I roll my eyes back at my friend, “It’s not like he’s dead or something. We have tons of time for us to gossip about our sex lives.” “You better… At least, can you tell me if Ben’s a top or bottom?” “Ha, both.” “You lucky fucker!” You have no idea. . . . . . Eventually our boyfriends decided to join us back in my room, and we just sat around again, tossing through games and movies to waste time with, eventually deciding on watching a comedy we all love and can quote endlessly. I pulled out a few spare blankets and pillows and we sat with our respective couple. Ben and I spooning on his bed, while Lee and Harry sat next to eachother on the floor. Ben whispered and said Harry might realize if we’re just spooning like this, but I told him he knows. He just nods and smiles, turning back to the movie. But the second wind he got finally wore off, and I could hear him snoring lightly behind me, and I just laid there, enjoying it. Just comforting, like finding your childhood blankie again and snuggling it for a second before putting it back in the closet. The snoring escalated to a pitch at some point though, and our buddies tried to laugh quietly as they looked at us. “Guess that’s a sign to go to bed?” Harry said as he started getting up. “Yeah, sorry guys…” Lee got up too, “Nah, it’s fine, he’s tuckered out. We’ll go crash on the couch so you can get ready for bed.” “Thanks, you’re both too sweet. Goodnight guys.” “Night”/”G’night” they whispered back to me as they snuck out of the room with their sleeping gear. I turned back to the snoring dead weight on the bed and sighed, my work cut out for me. Guess I’ll take off his shoes first… _ _ _ _ _ *Yaaaaaaaawn* Ugh, what time is it… Did I pass out? Shit. I try to sit up, but I feel Army curled next to me, and I settle back down. No need to wake up the bozo… He at least had the decency to take my shoes and jeans off, but left me in my t-shirt and briefs. Well, he tried. Wonder what we should get for breakfast? Oh right, Harry and Lee are probably still here. Well, we’re alone now, right, and I know a certain guy has a little morning wood I should take care of… My hand snaked to my brothers front, under his shirt, his chest slowly rising and falling as he lightly snored, a little drool shining against his sleeping face. Aww, he’s just so… cute when he’s peaceful. No frown or scowl. Honestly, it’s scary how much Army changes in such little time. It’s only been a few months, but already he keeps growing in small but obvious ways. Well, obvious to me since I memorize every square inch of this doofus’s skin. A new little hair, some new definition on his chest, a bushier happy trail… I slide slowly down his torso, passing his warm tummy, as my fingers slip past his waist band, and I find the tent I knew was being pitched. His cock feels hard and warm and almost throbbing in my hands, and I could almost swear I heard him moan the second I wrapped my fingers around it. A stroke or 2, and I feel the old muscle memory taking over from endless mornings and late nights of us in this same position, him laying next to me, cuddled close, big spoon and little spoon, my hard as fuck dick rubbing on his cute little ass while I tease him. “H-huh?” He finally flutters awake, his sounds of confusion mixed with a little moaning. “Mornin’ babe.” I growled into his ear, low and deep, letting the little bass of my voice fill the air between his ear and my lips. “Oh…” was all I got back, but I could feel his hips moving in tandem with my arm. “B-Ben, what if th-” “Shhhh… They are sleeping, or probably doing the same thing, just enjoy yourself.” He nods and still persists humping his cock into my hand, the room filling up with the light sounds of his moaning. I wrap my free arm under and around him, holding him close, and he braces himself, clenching his hands on my forearm. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Missing your big bro’s helpful hand?” “Y-yes… yes…” “Why don’t you cum for your boyfriend, he’s thirsty and he wants a treat…” “B-but,” He tries to push my hand away, but I prove stronger than him, still stroking him. “No buts, just enjoy it…” I could tell he was saving up a load for me, because he didn’t last long at all, I felt him brace himself hard against me as his cock erupts in my hands, while he bites his lips to stop himself from moaning my name into the roof, the sky, the cosmos… He finally recovers and he hits me, mad that I made him cum without making it a special moment or anything, but sometimes he can be super gay about shit like that. Like, not like he’s gonna be up and at attention in an hour, or tonight, or whenever I decide I’m gonna fuck him silly. Raising my hand to my lips, I lick the drops of cum that lingered from his little mess, and I smile, happy to enjoy the little taste again. He leans in, and we kiss, sharing the little string of essence of my brother. “Ready to go shoo our guests out?” I muttered between more lip-locking. “That’s rude.” “Yeah, so? I wanna fuck you so bad.” “Not if I fuck you first.” “Guess we’ll have to use rock-paper-scissors?” “You’ll just cheat.” “It’s only cheating if you’re caught,” and to make sure he doesn’t try to rebuttal, I stand up and clean up, putting some gym shorts on to hide my obvious still lingering morning wood. We head out to the living room and see our pals cuddled on the couch, a mess of clothes, limbs, and an exposed butt with a hand clencing it for dear life. Army politely coughs and our friends stop making out, Lee lifting up his gym shorts and blushing while Harry fixes his glasses. “Sorry to interrupt…” We both said. Harry smiled, “Maybe if some people didn’t sleep in like some bums.” “Speaking of bums…” Army quick on the draw. Lee awkwardly laughed, his face super red. “Sorry…” Army smiled, “Hey, it’s fine. Not like we could keep our own hands off each other.” He looked at me and winked, “So what’s on the agenda today?” Ugh, more social stuff? Can’t a guy get some peace and quiet to fuck their boyfriend to smithereens? Gosh. “Well, last night Lee suggested the beach for the cliche spring break trip, but I said the traffic would be awful.” “And the people there would mean there would be so many people…” “So many screaming kids…” Lee said, and we all shuddered. This went back and forth. None of the amusement parks we had would be fun (RIP Astroworld) and the boardwalk would be just as packed. Really… not a lot of options. But inspiration hit in our darkest time. “I know a place…” I decided to interrupt finally. All 3 stared at me. “Well, what is it?” “My parents have a place on the other side of town. It’s not a beach, but it’s comfy and small and private.” Lee and Harry looked at eachother and smiled, eager, but Army’s face grimaced. I told our friends to go grab some swimming clothes and head back here so we can go together, but I know I gotta convince Army. Not sure why he cares, but you know him, he’s… weird and paticular about things. _ _ _ _ _ “You sure you wanna take them… there?” I asked, barely subdued concern woven into my voice like a tacky afghan. “Sure, why not, Army? Pa still owns it, so he can retire back to everything once he’s got his ‘nest egg.'” Ben rolled his eyes and sighed, “which I assume is just him marrying some rich widow or something.” “I don’t know…” was all I could muster. Deep down, it felt weird to invite anyone to that… spot. It was ours, and I always wanted to keep it that way. “Army Army Army…” Ben sighed again as he sat next to me on the lower bunk, his heavy arm wrapping around my shoulders. “You worry about the dumbest things sometimes.” He’s right, while it’s a special spot for us, our friends, who’m I trust and love, won’t do anything to sour those memories. Guess I’m still not used to being open and sharing this whole thing. “Fine, Ben, you’re right.” “Music to my ears, babe.” He smirked and messed with my hair. We decided to start packing up some swimming clothes and some snacks and stuff, gonna make a whole day of this. Which, I can’t wait. But at the same time, just wish we could have some more alone time, but it won’t be too hard to find, since we’re confined to our house since Ben left his truck in Cali. . . . . . Our friends popped back up, packed and ready to go in Lee’s car, so we drove off, Ben guiding them towards his old place while I just chatted with Harry in the backseat so as not to distract the busy drivers. But we made it there in record time. Seemed all the traffic was going to the beach and the island, so we had nothing holding us up. We parked and piled out, setting out our stuff so we can spread out. I took a walk down the little dock, just reabsorbing all the sights and sounds from memories and moments past. “Hey, Army, don’t fall in!” My big brother called to me, ruining the moment, as usual. Sigh, that’s why I love him though. Walking back, I saw Harry and Lee putting sun screen on each other, chatting with Ben about the lake, who was putting a few drinks in the little ice chest we got. “Mind if I borrow your sunscreen? istanbul travesti I forgot to grab some.” I asked Lee. “Sure!” He tosses it to me after he puts a dollop on his nose, to which Harry laughed at him and rubbed it properly for him. Ben snatches the little tube and puts some on his hand. “Shirt,” he says in a stern voice. “Yes sir…” I say as I slip my shirt off, and he works on my shoulders. Part of me knows he doesn’t want me to get sunburnt, but also a small excuse to fondle me shirtless. Win/Win, right? . . . . . Our little party spent a good 2 hours just horsing around, swimming in the lake, relaxing, chatting, pushing and shoving each other beneath the water, more joking, just… a portrait of a teenagers spring break. Rote as it was, it was… really nice. Though sadly the snacks didn’t last the drive, due to boredom. So Harry and Lee volunteered to grab some food. We sat on the dock, side by side, watching as Lee and Harry left to go grab dinner. We were evenly split between fried chicken (Harry and Ben) or pizza (Lee and myself, the real taste-makers) so we’ll see what they find first in town. So we were left alone, the sound of our breathing and the oncoming crickets of dusk. I laid my head on Ben’s shoulder, my fingers lazily playing with the strap on his tank top, his wolf tattoo glaring at my nose. I still get surprised it’s still there since I’m not used to it, no matter how many times I see it. Mother was for sure not happy to see it the first time, that’s for sure. I never heard her voice get so loud before! “I missed you a lot, Ben…” I felt compelled to say again, probably for the 102th time this week. “Again? What did you this time, was it this sexy ass face?” He mugged at me, his teeth shining against the darkness of his still thickening facial scruff. A flannel shirt short of being a lumberjack. Mmmm, maybe later. “Just… This is gonna sound dumb.” He giggled and rolled his eyes, “Army, a lot of what you say is dumb. Its what I love about ya.” I shoved him and he shoved me back, our hands lingering to still enjoy the closeness, the touch. I told him every single thing I missed about him. His eyes when we were staring at each other last night, his dick when I was grabbing it this morning, his smell in the middle of the night when I cuddled in his arms (which I also missed), his laugh when I tickled him like an hour ago. Just… a fucking grocery list of shit I missed about this dope. “The warmth,” was all my dumb brain could muster this time. “Kinda reaching at straws there, bud.” He giggled again. “No, I’m serious.” “Oh, are you now?” “Yeah…” I looked down at my lap, shy suddenly. I felt his fingers on my chin and he aimed my face back up to his gaze, his dark eyes shining like polished furniture. “Don’t pussy out on me now, I love hearing your weird out-there compliments. Feeds my ego.” “Not like your ego needs it,” my turn to roll my eyes, but that dumb goon smile of his convinces me. “Fine fine… I miss how you feel next to me. When I hear your voice, I feel like… deep in my body. Like being too close to the speakers at a concert, but in… like a good way, you know? It’s comforting. When you’re gone, I feel cold and lost, but then I hear you say something to me, and it’s like a bonfire is restored in my heart. The crackling of a soft fire right before you fall asleep. Makes me feel safe.” He throws his head back and laughs, and I get self conscious again, but I know he’s just uncomfortable with us… being weirdly earnest. Or as he would say, super gay. “Guess I’ll never tell you how I feel ever again, if you’re just gonna la-” Ben puts his finger to my lips and smiles, gentle and sweet. “I’m just messin’, that’s really sweet. Honest.” He leans in and gives me a peck on the cheek. We sat again in silence, enjoying the sounds of nature surrounding a peaceful sanctuary. A bird chirping, the hint of cicadas emerging for the summer, the faint rustling of tall grass. It was perfect. He fingers lazily entwined with mine, my head on his shoulder, our feet dipped into the cool water. How I wish I could just protect the moment away forever, like a photo in a locket around my neck, held close to my heart and reminding me that I’m in love, and in turn, loved back. No school, no work, no worries about getting caught. Honestly, deep down, I just look back through the weird ass rollercoaster that is our relationship and there are just… so many moments that are locket-worthy. Ben’s drunken teasing of me to instigate our first kiss, our cigarette shared confessions at the lake, holding hands and flinching together at the movies with Harry, the passion we felt when we got into the “incident” (though that’s way more in retrospect), reconnecting together at the behest of our caring friends, the night at the pier where we could be ourselves. Just… I don’t know where life is taking us. Hell, who knows if the days of future past will still have “us” in mind. A year ago, I was pissed at the prospect of losing this all, that I had to scrape and claw to keep this relationship because it was the only good thing in my life. But thinking on that just… feels weak? Unfair to both of us. I feel proud and happy of what we shared, and after actually losing it and some how being able to work my necromancy to bring it back… Maybe it’s not so bad. I didn’t get lost or end up dead beneath the waves after our shipwreck. And I know we’ll always have each other. That’s what I feel happy about in the end. That our friendship was built as a lasting testament to the feelings and work and blood and sweat that we toiled over for years. We went from being unable to be in the same room for 15 minutes without us being at each-others throats to… being in each-others throats, I guess. Our love unlocked a part of us we didn’t know we had, and in the end, we are better for it. Forged by fire and love rather than gilded by pain and hate and bitterness. And in the end, that’s why I feel good about the future for once. I look back at Ben, and I see him staring at the slowly passing clouds, lost in his own thoughts. I just hope he feels the same. _ _ _ _ _ Gawd, where are they at? I’m fucking starving. _ _ _ _ _ Eventually Harry and Lee showed back up, a big box of chicken, fries, biscuits, and mashed potatoes, like a miracle cloaked in the smell of Southern hospitality. We laid out a blanket on the ground and just sat in a circle, setting dinner up and relaxing. Just the four of us, entangled in the words and the food and the shared love between us. Everything felt… Right. I thought back to earlier, and I felt secure in myself and what I feel. About myself, about Ben, about everything. I don’t know where I’m going, but it’s where I want to be. _ _ _ _ _ “Why didn’t you get spicy?” I asked as I finished the bite, bored by the plain taste. “Not all of us have your tolerance for heat, Ben.” Harry and Lee retorted in tandem. “Sorry your poor white boy tongues can’t handle a little pepper.” Army looked at me and laughed. “You remember we’re half white, right?” “Shish!” My brother turned back to our friends and thanked them on my behalf. The guy is such a suck up. It’s really sweet though. Lee peeked into one of the bags and tossed some hot sauce at me, “There, something to make your unappreciative ass happy.” “This is not nearly enough!” I fake-whined. “My boyfriend gives you his sauce and you want more? Shocker.” Harry sneered as he blew a kiss at Lee. “Your boyfriend is the one eager to dish out his sauce. Maybe you should be the one worried.” “Why, think you can take him from me?” “I’d have him on his knees for me in a heart beat.” “Hey hey hey, stop that… We all know I’m the one who could easily steal any of your boyfriends.” Army interjected. All 3 of us groaned out loud. He’s so damn vain sometimes. “So you’ll steal yourself from me?” I asked him mockingly. “Easily!” “That doesn’t even make sense!” Army leaned in and kissed me, laughing at his own dumb joke. “Doesn’t have to. But I’d rather have you as my boyfriend.” “You bet your ass on that.” This is nice. No more pretense or lies or pretending. Just a really cute double date with the 3 guys in the world I love. Even Lee, the newest member of our Loser club, I love that guy. Partially because of our talk really opened my eyes, and how he looks after my dork. Though after everything, I feel don’t have to look after him anymore. The guy has shown he’s strong and capable, and I’m… I’m really proud of him. Growing up with him, all I ever thought of him was a weak annoying smart ass, that he was pathetic because Ma had to look after him while I had to grow up with Pa and be forced to work and be strong. But I know that’s unfair to him, and to me. That’s why… I’m thankful for this whole relationship. Army showed me that we are strong, but even more… we’re stronger together. No matter what the end holds… We’re stronger together. I look back at my brother, wiping the mashed potatoes from his cheek that Harry just flung at him, and I just can’t resist smiling at him. He catches me and smiles back, big and bright, like the sun and moon saying “howdy-doo” to each-other. Our hands slide together and entwine, and I feel complete again. Nothing needs to spoken anymore, we know how we feel. And that’s enough for me. Just us, in the moment with our friends. Harry… Lee… Four of us, just being ourselves. Friendship and love, together. A rope binding us together, and no matter how much life frays it, it’ll always be there. Strong. End of Chapter 34 Thanks for reading!

Ben Esra telefonda seni bosaltmami ister misin?
Telefon Numaram: 00237 8000 92 32